What do you mean, try?

Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

-Yoda

This is Yoda

This highly overused, cliché of a quote from one of the greatest Jedi masters of all time is completely taken out of context to prove the point I want. This may sound hypocritical, -since I constantly criticize the plethora of wannabe intellectuals who quote philosophers out of context- but trust me, our motives are very different. See, these people with anti-Bush pins and Save Darfur Bumper stickers do it as a type of mental masturbation. They are the epitome of intelligence and reasoning in this world; to prove this they use the very words of Socrates and Aristotle to prove their point. So it doesn’t matter if you, a simple-minded slave to the government, disagree with their point of view, because the greatest philosophers of all time agree with them, so phooey.

Wow, really? If Socrates was alive he would totally agree with you that Bush is worse than Hitler? Hmmm…Well do you know if Socrates was alive today we would be probably be a very active member of NAMBLA. Fuck off and go eat a tofu salad while you protest the tragedy du jour, you’re really making a difference.

Sorry, I needed to get that out of my system faster than a 7^th grader who hasn’t jacked off in a week. Ahhh…anyways the reason I quote this Mexican jumping bean of a Jedi is twofold. First, it’s a good example of my thesis in this foul-mouthed, spewing essay. Second, I can’t believe I’ve posted over 5 entries without using a quote from Star Wars, and I need to get it out of my system faster than…fuck; I already used that witty analogy.

I digress (read: start) to my point. The word try has become so ambiguous that no one really knows what it means anymore. Do, or do not. That sounds like a good technique, fuck trying, just saddle up, do it, or fail. None of that peewee soccer 'You tried your best Skyler, here’s a sugar cookie' bullshit. So what is it, try or do? Do we follow our dreams, or do we try to follow our dreams? The more I think about it, the many times I’ve seen people try, or I’ve tried myself leads me to another word, failure.

Once you decide you will try something you’ve accepted a slight possibility of failure. A sliver of doubt in your mind forces you to say ‘try’ instead of ‘do’. You can even see it in sporting events, when the game is over the new champ comes for an interview with a hot chick or balding man. Whether it be football, poker, skeet shooting, you always hear “I did my best and got lucky”. I only hear “I tried my best but just couldn’t cut it” from, surprise surprise, second place. The winners were also the people who said, on day one, I’m going to win this. Try seems to have been surgically removed from their vocabulary.

So, the second we try something we subconsciously prepare for failure, but what about when it’s not in competition, no prize? We’re going to try to save our marriage. I’m going to try and do better in school. The latter, at least for me, is just words I say to keep people of my back. And you’ve done it to. Whenever someone asks you to be careful, not to feed it after midnight, not put that in there and you say I’ll try you’re a lying motherfucker. You want, or will, do said thing the second you get a chance. So is trying synonymous with lying, deception? Trying is a last resort and a first tool. It’s lies and failure. Trying is a dirty word that I will only use when asked, Can you give me a courtesy tap? Sure, I’ll try.

Trying also goes against your nature. Too many people have ruined a good thing by trying to do what they are supposed to do, or what they think they have to do, rather than just go with it. What if they told Sammy Sosa to try to swing the bat correctly? Hey, Gus Hansen, try not to play trash hands for once. Umm…Mr. Cheech, Mr. Chong? Can you try not to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette when you come up with ideas?

But how does this relate to me? I’m not a roided up batter, not a wild Danish card player and I haven’t made a career making awesome stoner movies. I’m just average, everything I do is average so I have to try and be like the successful people. People get stuck trying to do something for years just because they think it’s the only way. I find this ridiculous.

Our bodies and minds have this neat trick, they tell us when we like something, when something fucking works. We’re the idiots who fight it. Throw it all on the wall and see what sticks. We tend to rip off what stuck and try to force pieces of unknown less stick objects on the wall, and we get pissed and try harder. By the time we realize what we’ve done we’re sitting in the corner, exhausted, staring at an empty wall, with all our sticky shit on the floor, being carried away by ants. FUCK!

Like the kid who likes reading and writing, gets funneled into engineering. He’s good at math at science, why not try it out? Like that couple that tried to have a long distance relationship? But, by far, the worst is when people let a label dictate the way they act. They become something so they have to try and fill that role. I’m an RA now I can’t launch soda rockets in the hallways anymore. It’s not that they don’t want to; they’re trying to fill the role of what they’re supposed to be. They will fail. Stick with what sticks.

Another example we’ve all seen. Guy and girl great friends, start dating and it lasts as long as a celebrity marriage. What happens? Labels and trying. While they’re friends there’s no trying just being. This gets ruined once labels come into place. Since they’re boyfriend and girlfriend they start trying to fill those roles. It changes the way they act around each other. They start forcing some things rather than letting them happen, they ruin the reason they were so great in the first place. If they just stopped trying and just letting things happen they’d be surprised by the difference. Just think about it, remember something you’ve done with a person when you both forced yourselves, it just didn’t work and probably sucked. Now remember the time you just let it happen, spontaneously, no forcing, no pressure, I’ll bet you anything it was good, pretty damn good actually.

All this doesn’t mean give up. Just fucking do things, if you fail, find out why, fix it and do it again. I’m done trying, never again.