Don't Quit Your Day Job Part 2

How do you get here? Why do girls flock to your room? Why you? There are dozens of books, instructional videos and websites dedicated to the art of picking up girls. There’s a whole community (more like cult) of these guys, Mystery, David DeAngelo or Ross Jeffries; each guy with their own technique, whether it’s cold-readings, pre-determined lines or overall scummy techniques. If you want a quick ‘how-to’ guide to get laid in college these guys will help –if you’re not completely incompetent. But that’s not what I’m about, personally I hate these guys, they make our world a shittier place. These con artists are programmed shells with nothing to offer after they run out of lines, and they make my job so much harder.

I’ll start from the top. Anyone who’s relatively smart knows the feeling of being ahead of the crowd, being more mature than your peers. You feel stunted and a need to dumb yourself down in order to have a good time. Sadly –like most people—I did exactly this, because hey, it beats the alternative, alienating yourself. Dumbing yourself down to one group becomes too easy, so you become a crowd jumper. You fit in with every group of friends but have no click of your own, you take pride in this. You’re such an amazing person you can stretch your personality to fit everyone’s desires… and then you feel empty again. You’ve lost sight of yourself; you’re pretending to be so many different people you forget who you actually are. You hate some groups but stick with them because you have no real reason to leave them; you pulled your personality until it tore. This is where most of the relatively smart people stay stuck, because it’s hard to fix.

To find yourself again you have to lose everyone else. This is why very few people do it, it’s a tough path. People will hate you, you’ll become alienated, and you don’t know who to trust. The resentment is so great people can’t wait for a chance to stab you in the back, to gang up on you, to get back at you. New people will feel intimidated and try to take you down; it’s a lifetime of fighting, a lifetime of looking behind your back, a lifetime of being alone.

At this point you’re probably wondering what the fuck this has to do with anything. Well, this incessant solitude causes boredom, this boredom caused my nifty little brain to develop games and social experiments to entertain myself. They started out small, saying or doing absurdly random things in public to gauge reactions. Seeing how fast I could get a girl in bed and push her sexual limits to see how far she’d go. Then the games got more serious. How long would it take for someone to tell me their deepest, darkest secrets? How fast could I get a girl to fall in love with me?

I got more involved in each game and this is where I realized how many people were going through what I went. Torn personalities, they had issues they couldn’t seem to solve but I knew how to fix it. The games became productive, helping people fill the holes in their lives. I switched to only helping women because I got laid in the process, fuck it, I’m a shitty person. I’d never felt a sense of accomplishment or significance until I helped a girl fill her void –no, not like that silly. Every girl has issues, some feel they’ll never be able to love again, others wonder why they’re always just ‘another’ girl, and some are just trapped in their current –shitty-- situation.

I call them projects, and no two will ever be the same. Some can take a week, a few will take years. Some will only need a visit once a week; others will take up half your day. Some will go smooth, other times you’ll get the shit beaten out of you. It’ll push you to the limit and then more, it challenges every single one of your skills and you reach places you never thought possible. There will be points where you regret starting a project, you’ll want to quit, and at that moment you realize this is the challenge you were waiting for.

Why the hell would someone do this? First the challenge is too great to pass up. Second, nothing else gives me the sense of fulfillment that my projects do. I’m not giving them a fish, I’m not even teaching them to fish, I’m helping them build a god damn fish stick factory. Third, I don’t know what else to do, I’m so conditioned to problem fixing and human drama I feel empty when everything is going great. Too bad I don’t get paid for this.